Thursday, April 26, 2012
Moving Sucks
In my vagabond days I moved at least once a year. In and out of dorms, to my grandparent's house, to an aunt's house, in with a boyfriend, cross country with a boyfriend, home after the break up ... For years all I did was move. It never seemed to phase me until now. But my realization is that moving sucks. Plain and simple.
As a singleton, I had one room or a one bedroom apartment to move. As a married with children, I have significantly more. And moving with kids is more of a challenge because everything takes twice as long. I pack, he unpacks, the baby cries. I unpack, he repacks, the baby needs to eat. I close up boxes, he reopens them, we stop for snacks and diaper changes. It's an endless cycle and quite frankly I'm over it. Thankfully, this move went relatively smooth considering that my Gramma passed away just days before we moved and we were in complete and udder disarray in both our physical environment and emotional state. In fact, I think the move was just the distraction I needed to get me through the first week after Gramma's passing. (I wasn't avoiding the grieving part, just the public grieving. I prefer to grieve privately so having the excuse of my move allowed me to do that without any questions as to why I chose to be home.) It was kind of therapeutic because the immediate focus was on the task at hand so I could just power through what needed to be done and be alone with my thoughts at the same time without needing to "talk it out" every time I came across something that belonged to or reminded me of her. I'm not doing so well with that now that some time has passed and I am discovering mementos as I unpack.
We had help for several days which allowed us to get things over to the new place quicker than expected. Of course, because it was quicker than we expected, it was slightly chaotic. We had so many boxes in the garage that you could barely see the light of day when the door was open. It is a miracle I didn't trip, break a leg and get buried alive under boxes of bar ware and bathroom linens. But three weeks in and this place feels more like home than any place else I have lived. We are still slowly unpacking (kids, remember?) and we hardly have anything on the walls and you still can't park a car in the garage but it's coming along. We made a whopping $1,400 at our garage sale (Go us!) and that has allowed us to purchase the storage items we have needed along with a few goodies to "cozy" up the place. We've got a handle on the storage situations now and are ready to move on to decorating. I'm getting excited about that part. I know once we put our touches on everything this will really feel like home sweet home.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Unexpected Losses & Minor Set Backs
It seems that as soon as things seem to be going smoothly we hit a bump or a pothole or are delayed by a unexpected detour. Such is life but this "bump" did more than delay me ... it derailed me.
Project Reorganize was in full swing when the call I have dreaded my whole life came in. It was a Tuesday a few weeks ago now. It was around lunch and I had just stepped out of the shower to the chirping of my phone ... 6 missed calls. I knew instantly that something was wrong but nothing prepared me for the news. My sister told me what I have dreaded hearing my whole life. My beloved Gramma had been called home. It was like someone just sucker punched me in the gut. She had been in declining health for some time so it shouldn't have come as a surprise but as much as I thought I was "ready" I felt completely blind sided. Nothing really had changed with her conditions that would have signaled that this was coming. It just happened--with no time to say goodbye. Like the snap of a finger. She was gone. And suddenly I felt lost.
Gramma has been my anchor, my rock. I was her first grandchild and our bond was formed as soon as I entered the world. We've had a close relationship for as long as I can remember. She was not just my grandmother but my friend. When I won an award, she was the one I wanted to call first. When I fought with my parents, she listened without judgement. When I went away to college, she moved me in. When I needed to come home on the weekends, she was there waiting outside my dorm. When I needed to know how to cook my first turkey, I called her ... a million times ... from the grocery store ... and then a million more times from my kitchen. When I needed advice, I asked her. When I didn't know I needed advice, she gave it to me anyway. When I wanted reassurance that I was doing the right thing, going to the right school, headed in the right direction, marrying the right man, she was there supporting me. I was always checking for that look of approval. And she was always there to give it to me. Except the few times when I got the "look." You know the one. The one that said "I'm-so-disappointed-that-I-can't-even-say-anything" look. Thankfully, those were few and far between.
I am grateful that we spent so much time together in the end ... even if the end isn't how I want to remember her. I am grateful that, unlike so many I know, I got 32 and a half wonderful years to make memories with her that are etched into my heart. I loved listening to her stories and watching her work the Sunday crossword puzzle in pen (with whiteout) with her sisters Carole and Franny. I loved that she would drive to Las Vegas to see me on a business trip only to end up gambling and taking tequila shots with my co-workers. I loved teaching her the booty dance at my sister's graduation party (I think that's what it was!). Yep, she was that kind of lady. Always up for anything--no matter how crazy it seemed. She was so full of life and one of the kindest people I have ever known. I could fill volumes with my memories but I'll keep them close to comfort me like she always did.
With Mother's Day only a few short weeks away I have thought about her constantly. While I know I could never be as good as she was, I hope that one day my grandchildren feel the same way about me as I do about her. I have every intention to share her legacy and carry on her traditions so that they can have just a little piece of the joy she brought to us. I think that's what she would want.
Project Reorganize was in full swing when the call I have dreaded my whole life came in. It was a Tuesday a few weeks ago now. It was around lunch and I had just stepped out of the shower to the chirping of my phone ... 6 missed calls. I knew instantly that something was wrong but nothing prepared me for the news. My sister told me what I have dreaded hearing my whole life. My beloved Gramma had been called home. It was like someone just sucker punched me in the gut. She had been in declining health for some time so it shouldn't have come as a surprise but as much as I thought I was "ready" I felt completely blind sided. Nothing really had changed with her conditions that would have signaled that this was coming. It just happened--with no time to say goodbye. Like the snap of a finger. She was gone. And suddenly I felt lost.
Gramma has been my anchor, my rock. I was her first grandchild and our bond was formed as soon as I entered the world. We've had a close relationship for as long as I can remember. She was not just my grandmother but my friend. When I won an award, she was the one I wanted to call first. When I fought with my parents, she listened without judgement. When I went away to college, she moved me in. When I needed to come home on the weekends, she was there waiting outside my dorm. When I needed to know how to cook my first turkey, I called her ... a million times ... from the grocery store ... and then a million more times from my kitchen. When I needed advice, I asked her. When I didn't know I needed advice, she gave it to me anyway. When I wanted reassurance that I was doing the right thing, going to the right school, headed in the right direction, marrying the right man, she was there supporting me. I was always checking for that look of approval. And she was always there to give it to me. Except the few times when I got the "look." You know the one. The one that said "I'm-so-disappointed-that-I-can't-even-say-anything" look. Thankfully, those were few and far between.
With Mother's Day only a few short weeks away I have thought about her constantly. While I know I could never be as good as she was, I hope that one day my grandchildren feel the same way about me as I do about her. I have every intention to share her legacy and carry on her traditions so that they can have just a little piece of the joy she brought to us. I think that's what she would want.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Love Affair
I have a confession ... I have a love affair with fabric. Do I sew, you ask? No. Do I re-upholster, you ask? No. Hasn't your mother sewed for years? Yes. Didn't she teach you? I wasn't patient enough to be her student when I was younger. Now, I'm wishing I had. So, I have no skills that I could apply to fabric at all but I still love, love, love fabric.
Like all affairs this one is doomed. I can't commit. I look at a print and think ... "Oh, how I would love to see you hanging from my curtain rods" and instantly follow that up with "But, this one would look nice, too." The choices are endless. I adore so many different styles and patterns that narrowing it to just a couple is virtually impossible for me. I just have the hardest time committing.
In the beginning, my home decor color choices were limited to solids or stripes in the blue-green family because my husband was anti-anything that might be construed as too feminine. It was the "honeymoon phase" and I gladly went along with it because I liked those colors enough to use them and was really just ready to make our house feel like home. Flash forward 7 years and I'm ready to mix it up. It took me awhile but I've gotten him to agree to ... wait for it ... a floral! Gasp! Yes, he agreed and I was so super excited that before he could finish his stipulations ("Nothing too Grandma-y... ") I began scouring the Internet, as I always do, for the perfect print. Problem is that I couldn't pick just one. At this very moment, my desk is covered in 11 different swatches of fabrics that I'm considering for our family/dining room make over. I showed restraint when I picked out just 11 and, honestly, I'll be ordering a few more because I'm just not sure.
I haven't strayed too far from the blue green family but have chosen more vibrant colors and more accents to work with.
My main fabric is this gorgeous floral, for sure ...
I love the big, bold print and the color scheme. I think it will brighten the new family room up nicely and works well with a lot of our existing decor so I won't have to do a full blown make over. It will be more like a mini-face lift. This fabric gives me so many options to work with. I'm thinking of this for curtains for the slider and/or valances over the family/dining room windows. Not sure though... that's a lot of floral. Ugh! I hate loving something and being so unsure of where to use it!
Anyway, the other fabrics I'm leaning toward are these patterns:
The pea green in the mini chevron shows a little yellow in the image but the swatch matches perfectly to my floral. I didn't get a swatch of the yellow Ikat Dot but I plan to purchase one to make sure the yellows aren't too different. I'm thinking these for pillows and maybe some place mats. I do have an ottoman that needs recovering but I don't know how I feel about either of these on it. Maybe the mini chevron? What do you think?
I'm loving the spiced carrot in the floral. Orange is such a hot color right now and I'd like to use it but I haven't figured out how to work that in yet. It might simply be with accessories or if I can find the Ikat Dot in that color that could be an option too.
I am 99.9% sure this is what I'll go with but ... I am not sure enough to buy the fabric yet! It's going to cost a pretty penny and, let's face it, I'm, at best, a beginner when it comes to sewing and I don't exactly want to practice with expensive fabric. I'd be a very unhappy camper if I ruined it. Very unhappy. I've considered hiring someone to bring my visions to light but I've said that before and still have a cabinet full of fabric that never got used plus there is extra cost involved. Purchasing this fabric will be my big splurge and I don't want to break the bank so I need to make this work.
Guess, I need to sign up for some sewing lessons. Stay tuned ...
Like all affairs this one is doomed. I can't commit. I look at a print and think ... "Oh, how I would love to see you hanging from my curtain rods" and instantly follow that up with "But, this one would look nice, too." The choices are endless. I adore so many different styles and patterns that narrowing it to just a couple is virtually impossible for me. I just have the hardest time committing.
In the beginning, my home decor color choices were limited to solids or stripes in the blue-green family because my husband was anti-anything that might be construed as too feminine. It was the "honeymoon phase" and I gladly went along with it because I liked those colors enough to use them and was really just ready to make our house feel like home. Flash forward 7 years and I'm ready to mix it up. It took me awhile but I've gotten him to agree to ... wait for it ... a floral! Gasp! Yes, he agreed and I was so super excited that before he could finish his stipulations ("Nothing too Grandma-y... ") I began scouring the Internet, as I always do, for the perfect print. Problem is that I couldn't pick just one. At this very moment, my desk is covered in 11 different swatches of fabrics that I'm considering for our family/dining room make over. I showed restraint when I picked out just 11 and, honestly, I'll be ordering a few more because I'm just not sure.
I haven't strayed too far from the blue green family but have chosen more vibrant colors and more accents to work with.
My main fabric is this gorgeous floral, for sure ...
I love the big, bold print and the color scheme. I think it will brighten the new family room up nicely and works well with a lot of our existing decor so I won't have to do a full blown make over. It will be more like a mini-face lift. This fabric gives me so many options to work with. I'm thinking of this for curtains for the slider and/or valances over the family/dining room windows. Not sure though... that's a lot of floral. Ugh! I hate loving something and being so unsure of where to use it!
Anyway, the other fabrics I'm leaning toward are these patterns:
I'm loving the spiced carrot in the floral. Orange is such a hot color right now and I'd like to use it but I haven't figured out how to work that in yet. It might simply be with accessories or if I can find the Ikat Dot in that color that could be an option too.
I am 99.9% sure this is what I'll go with but ... I am not sure enough to buy the fabric yet! It's going to cost a pretty penny and, let's face it, I'm, at best, a beginner when it comes to sewing and I don't exactly want to practice with expensive fabric. I'd be a very unhappy camper if I ruined it. Very unhappy. I've considered hiring someone to bring my visions to light but I've said that before and still have a cabinet full of fabric that never got used plus there is extra cost involved. Purchasing this fabric will be my big splurge and I don't want to break the bank so I need to make this work.
Guess, I need to sign up for some sewing lessons. Stay tuned ...
Re-established 2012
Project Reorganize is well under way. Our garage sale is coming up this weekend as long as the weather holds out! We are hoping to off load a bunch of stuff and make a little money. Packing is in full swing and is as organized as packing can be. We spent an entire day prepping meals for the next 2 weeks that will help with the chaos. We're making progress. I know I still have a few more weeks of organizing before I can feel that the goal is accomplished but I'm feeling good about where we are at and am ready to get the ball rolling on Goal Two: Re-establish.
One result of our lack of time and jam packed schedule has been the unraveling of our family routine which is the first thing to be reestablished post move. Over the holidays we had so much going on and the constant visitors seeing the baby and Gramma and then our daily house hunting, moving and packing, it has been hard to keep up with any semblance of a routine. J., our toddler, is a creature of habit and has probably suffered most from the craziness. He's a toddler so he's pushing boundaries as it is but with multiple people to turn to for direction, distracted parents and a major upset in his routine his behavior over the last couple months has been less than desirable. With my Gramma now having moved and the holidays long since over, the visitors have tapered off tremendously and we've been actively working on figuring out and adapting what works for our family so we are hoping to see some improvement on that front. In fact, it is improving already but we're a long way from where we'd like to be.
One-on-one time with each of the kids is also at the top of the list. Having two older kids and two younger ones proves to be tough at times. A. is of an age where she'd rather be solo and hang in her room which is OK because quite frankly the teen attitude is rearing it's head and I'm not a fan. N. still hangs with us and his brothers but often wants time with just Dad that is hard to give when the little ones are in need as well. Incorporating T. has been harder than I expected. He's tougher than J. who took to a schedule and routine very easily. Little T. needs a little more time to adapt which is making meeting everyone's needs overwhelming at times. J. is still very attached to his Daddy and rarely gets to spend one-on-one time with me because if Daddy is home so is everyone else and when he's gone I've got both boys by myself. We are trying to carve out some time for us to go to the library for story time just the two of us. I'm hoping to make it a regular thing once we are settled again. Little T. probably gets the most one-on-one time because he needs me so much.
And not to leave anyone out of this ... bringing up the rear (not because it is any less important) is one-on-one time with the hubs. Simply put ... re-establishing our date night. Parents know that it isn't always easy getting out for some alone time with the spouse but it is uber important. Our children learn how to treat others by watching how we treat each other. I want my kids to see the love we share when they look at us and then I want them to take that with them out into the world. So, in the name of the kids, I'm making date night mandatory! :-) We're aiming for at least one night away from the actual house to start.
We did go out once already this month and it was sooo nice. Funny thing was it had been so long since we'd gone out we spent hours trying to figure out what we wanted to do. We were like kids in a candy store... "Oh, we could go for a movie... or down to the beach for dinner ... or... " I'm stock piling a list of date ideas so we don't have to waste so much time figuring out what to do next time. Once we made it out of the house we realized how much we missed the time together. When we aren't able to get away from the house we are trying to make sure we carve out a few hours after kiddo bedtime to sit quietly, share a drink and talk without interruption.
This goal is going to probably take the most effort. It requires us to be actively thinking of this goal all the time and admittedly I've become quite absent minded since my children were born. We get so caught up in the daily grind that it's easy to lose sight of your goals. Our first step is to simplify and slow down. Now, that's a step I can manage.
One result of our lack of time and jam packed schedule has been the unraveling of our family routine which is the first thing to be reestablished post move. Over the holidays we had so much going on and the constant visitors seeing the baby and Gramma and then our daily house hunting, moving and packing, it has been hard to keep up with any semblance of a routine. J., our toddler, is a creature of habit and has probably suffered most from the craziness. He's a toddler so he's pushing boundaries as it is but with multiple people to turn to for direction, distracted parents and a major upset in his routine his behavior over the last couple months has been less than desirable. With my Gramma now having moved and the holidays long since over, the visitors have tapered off tremendously and we've been actively working on figuring out and adapting what works for our family so we are hoping to see some improvement on that front. In fact, it is improving already but we're a long way from where we'd like to be.
One-on-one time with each of the kids is also at the top of the list. Having two older kids and two younger ones proves to be tough at times. A. is of an age where she'd rather be solo and hang in her room which is OK because quite frankly the teen attitude is rearing it's head and I'm not a fan. N. still hangs with us and his brothers but often wants time with just Dad that is hard to give when the little ones are in need as well. Incorporating T. has been harder than I expected. He's tougher than J. who took to a schedule and routine very easily. Little T. needs a little more time to adapt which is making meeting everyone's needs overwhelming at times. J. is still very attached to his Daddy and rarely gets to spend one-on-one time with me because if Daddy is home so is everyone else and when he's gone I've got both boys by myself. We are trying to carve out some time for us to go to the library for story time just the two of us. I'm hoping to make it a regular thing once we are settled again. Little T. probably gets the most one-on-one time because he needs me so much.
And not to leave anyone out of this ... bringing up the rear (not because it is any less important) is one-on-one time with the hubs. Simply put ... re-establishing our date night. Parents know that it isn't always easy getting out for some alone time with the spouse but it is uber important. Our children learn how to treat others by watching how we treat each other. I want my kids to see the love we share when they look at us and then I want them to take that with them out into the world. So, in the name of the kids, I'm making date night mandatory! :-) We're aiming for at least one night away from the actual house to start.
We did go out once already this month and it was sooo nice. Funny thing was it had been so long since we'd gone out we spent hours trying to figure out what we wanted to do. We were like kids in a candy store... "Oh, we could go for a movie... or down to the beach for dinner ... or... " I'm stock piling a list of date ideas so we don't have to waste so much time figuring out what to do next time. Once we made it out of the house we realized how much we missed the time together. When we aren't able to get away from the house we are trying to make sure we carve out a few hours after kiddo bedtime to sit quietly, share a drink and talk without interruption.
This goal is going to probably take the most effort. It requires us to be actively thinking of this goal all the time and admittedly I've become quite absent minded since my children were born. We get so caught up in the daily grind that it's easy to lose sight of your goals. Our first step is to simplify and slow down. Now, that's a step I can manage.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Ringing in the New Year ... in early Spring
So after months of hibernation, I'm back to posting. At least I hope. I logged in this morning only to discover an incomplete blog that I started in, um, January. Yes, you read correctly. January. It was all about how I love the New Year, almost as much as I love the first day of school, and my goals yada yada yada. Seems slightly inappropriate now that it's mid-March but since it is driving my focus right now I should touch on it. So here's the slightly adapted version for the Spring.
Spring has sprung peeps. Pollen is in the air and my allergies are going haywire. I feel like my head is going to explode and I sound like Gilbert Godfrey. Not a pretty picture. Nonetheless, I'm excited. I love the Spring. It's a time of new beginnings, of refocusing and reorganizing and with that comes office supplies. Yes, office supplies. One can not reorganize without organizational tools and office supplies. It's a fact.
I know I'm a dork but being organized is almost a religious experience for me. When I'm unorganized I feel like my days get off to a false start. I sort of stumble my way through the day waiting for the synapses in my brain to start working so I can remember what in the Lord's name was I supposed to do today? Maybe I should take this as a clue that I need to jump on the coffee band wagon. Organization offers me clarity and a clear vision of my plan and as I have said before I'm a girl that likes to have a plan. It really does renew my spirit to know that I can start over fresh with the purchase of a new calendar and planner. Just buying office supplies makes me feel good, productive and excited about what I can accomplish.
I'm a little slow to get my organizing started this year but I'm cutting myself some slack since I've got a newborn in the house. I used to have a "To Do" list as long as my arm and would routinely cross multiple items off my list each day. Now, it's challenging having two babes in the house so I pick a max of 3 items and try my hardest to get to those. If I do, it is a successful day. If not, oh well, there's always tomorrow. It seems that I can't get them to nap at the same time or long enough for me to accomplish any one task. In fact, as I write this I'm chicken pecking the key board because I'm cradling the littlest while my oldest is driving a toy truck up my leg. Ah, motherhood.
I have taken (3 months ago) the same approach with my New Year's Goals as I do my daily "To Do" list--pick 3 things to focus on. I've got 3 items in mind--reorganization, reestablish and renew. We are about to reestablish ourselves again with another move but before we do that we are tackling the reorganization issue because another unorganized move might send me over the edge.
My biggest problem starting out 2012 is that we ended 2011 with two chaotic months with multiple hospitalizations for my Gramma and myself, the holidays, the birth of my youngest son and a challenging breast feeding experience that literally had me planted on the sofa with either T. or a breast pump attached to my breast. As a result, we've had little time to do much of anything so I'm back logged on just about everything--bill paying, filing, housework, laundry, shopping, etc. This is problematic because a cluttered space equates to a cluttered mind for me and I have a hard time identifying what needs to be done let alone focusing on (or finishing) one task. So, Goal One is to clean up and figure out what needs to be resolved and then stay on top of it. This is a daunting task and has resulted in a massive "To Do" list which was being written on the white board in the office so the hubs can help cross some things off. However, that proved too difficult since we moved our office downstairs and no longer have a constant visual reminder of the whiteboard that is still hanging in the old space. Simple fix is to move the whiteboard but we just haven't gotten around to it. Instead, I have spent hours scouring Pinterest for clever solutions to this problem and in the meantime have concreted my addiction to the Internet. No, really people, I need a support group. Yes, I do understand that I might have spent my time more productively actually DOING things instead of reading about HOW TO DO things but while my addiction can be distracting it has proved to help out tremendously with Goal ONE since I have come across so many tips and tricks to help keep me sane. I have discovered a system that I have put into play and it is working beautifully for my family. It also makes me happy because I got to buy office supplies.
I spent the better part of a day compiling my cleaning list and transferring the tasks onto 3x5 cards. I labeled the tasks that were appropriate for the kids to help out with and then sorted them into and labeled them in categories: daily, every other day, weekly, every other week, monthly, seasonally or quarterly. I purchased a note card holder and a set numbered of tabs so I could file each card into an appropriate day. Each day we pull out the cards under the day, complete those tasks then refile them in the appropriate spot. It's still a work in progress as I plan to add refiling directions on the bottom so the kids can refile without asking "where does this go now?"
Reasons I like this:
I guess I'm spring cleaning out life right now and not just my house. It feels good.
Spring has sprung peeps. Pollen is in the air and my allergies are going haywire. I feel like my head is going to explode and I sound like Gilbert Godfrey. Not a pretty picture. Nonetheless, I'm excited. I love the Spring. It's a time of new beginnings, of refocusing and reorganizing and with that comes office supplies. Yes, office supplies. One can not reorganize without organizational tools and office supplies. It's a fact.
I know I'm a dork but being organized is almost a religious experience for me. When I'm unorganized I feel like my days get off to a false start. I sort of stumble my way through the day waiting for the synapses in my brain to start working so I can remember what in the Lord's name was I supposed to do today? Maybe I should take this as a clue that I need to jump on the coffee band wagon. Organization offers me clarity and a clear vision of my plan and as I have said before I'm a girl that likes to have a plan. It really does renew my spirit to know that I can start over fresh with the purchase of a new calendar and planner. Just buying office supplies makes me feel good, productive and excited about what I can accomplish.
I'm a little slow to get my organizing started this year but I'm cutting myself some slack since I've got a newborn in the house. I used to have a "To Do" list as long as my arm and would routinely cross multiple items off my list each day. Now, it's challenging having two babes in the house so I pick a max of 3 items and try my hardest to get to those. If I do, it is a successful day. If not, oh well, there's always tomorrow. It seems that I can't get them to nap at the same time or long enough for me to accomplish any one task. In fact, as I write this I'm chicken pecking the key board because I'm cradling the littlest while my oldest is driving a toy truck up my leg. Ah, motherhood.
I have taken (3 months ago) the same approach with my New Year's Goals as I do my daily "To Do" list--pick 3 things to focus on. I've got 3 items in mind--reorganization, reestablish and renew. We are about to reestablish ourselves again with another move but before we do that we are tackling the reorganization issue because another unorganized move might send me over the edge.
My biggest problem starting out 2012 is that we ended 2011 with two chaotic months with multiple hospitalizations for my Gramma and myself, the holidays, the birth of my youngest son and a challenging breast feeding experience that literally had me planted on the sofa with either T. or a breast pump attached to my breast. As a result, we've had little time to do much of anything so I'm back logged on just about everything--bill paying, filing, housework, laundry, shopping, etc. This is problematic because a cluttered space equates to a cluttered mind for me and I have a hard time identifying what needs to be done let alone focusing on (or finishing) one task. So, Goal One is to clean up and figure out what needs to be resolved and then stay on top of it. This is a daunting task and has resulted in a massive "To Do" list which was being written on the white board in the office so the hubs can help cross some things off. However, that proved too difficult since we moved our office downstairs and no longer have a constant visual reminder of the whiteboard that is still hanging in the old space. Simple fix is to move the whiteboard but we just haven't gotten around to it. Instead, I have spent hours scouring Pinterest for clever solutions to this problem and in the meantime have concreted my addiction to the Internet. No, really people, I need a support group. Yes, I do understand that I might have spent my time more productively actually DOING things instead of reading about HOW TO DO things but while my addiction can be distracting it has proved to help out tremendously with Goal ONE since I have come across so many tips and tricks to help keep me sane. I have discovered a system that I have put into play and it is working beautifully for my family. It also makes me happy because I got to buy office supplies.
I spent the better part of a day compiling my cleaning list and transferring the tasks onto 3x5 cards. I labeled the tasks that were appropriate for the kids to help out with and then sorted them into and labeled them in categories: daily, every other day, weekly, every other week, monthly, seasonally or quarterly. I purchased a note card holder and a set numbered of tabs so I could file each card into an appropriate day. Each day we pull out the cards under the day, complete those tasks then refile them in the appropriate spot. It's still a work in progress as I plan to add refiling directions on the bottom so the kids can refile without asking "where does this go now?"
Reasons I like this:
- I have one place for all my tasks and it's not on a notepad that is going to get thrown into the pile of papers that has taken up residence on my counter and forgotten.
- The cards make it easy to delegate tasks without having to write another list. I can just put them on a clip on the fridge and remind the kids to check their cards.
- I can write all the clever, why-didn't-I-think-of-that cleaning tips on the cards so whomever is doing that task knows how to take care of it.
I guess I'm spring cleaning out life right now and not just my house. It feels good.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Wait, what year is it? Really? Already? Where did 2011 go?
To date 2011 was been the busiest year of my life filled with both great accomplishments, joys and its fair share of trials and tribulations. I'd love to share them with you but truthfully most of the year was a blur. So here's the recap or at least what I can remember.
I was still working at my middle school when the 2011 rolled into town. We were both employed full time and had a house full of beautiful children. Life was good.
In February, we started the year by putting our house on the market. We thought this process would be lengthy but much to our surprise it ended up short. Like one week short. Within the week of listing, we had not one but two full price cash offers and were on our way to being homeless. We were thrilled and then panicked all in the same breath. We kicked into high gear, began the escrow process, packing and looking for new digs which turned out to be tougher than we thought. Oh yeah and our oldest celebrated a milestone birthday by turning 13 and officially becoming a teenager.
My assignment ended in March which worked out quite nicely since March was equally as busy since we were knee deep in the house hunt and planning our first real family vacation--a trip to Maui in April. I'm sure more happened but it is all a little fuzzy.
April brought several events to note on this timeline. We found out we were pregnant again which was an amazing blessing but made moving a bit tough since my husband wouldn't let me lift anything! That didn't stop us from officially moving to our new house on the first. Moving is tough in and of itself but it's even tougher when you are only in your house for less than a week when you need to start packing for your family vacation. We departed our new digs for Maui just one week after moving in. Maui was heaven... except for the plane ride there and back since the little guy didn't want to leave Daddy's arms the whole time. Two days after arriving home, we hosted 20 people for Easter dinner and a small celebration to mark yet another milestone birthday--our youngest turned one! Whew, I'm tired just thinking about it and we're only four months into the year!
Thankfully, the summer was much less hectic. Our middle boy celebrated his first double digit birthday--yet another milestone! My Gramma decided to move in with us so we could help take care of her which was a big adjustment for all of us. We enjoyed a rockin' block party on the Fourth of July with our new neighbors and enjoyed some much needed family time.
In the fall, the school year resumed which meant back to school for both the kids and I. Our taxi cab days resumed with driving the kids to and from all the places they needed to be and we longed for the lazy days of summer. In October and through most of November, we began what seemed like a never ending list of preparations for both the birth of our son and the Christmas holiday which was right after his birth. There was LOTS of shopping during that time as well as several trips to the hospital for both Gramma and I. In late November, our last little blessing made his way safely into the world and our world changed again. His birth rounded out a very busy year and was the best early Christmas gift ever.
December was a month of mixed emotions. Gramma's needs changed dramatically and my ability to help her did as well. Having my son via c-section meant that I was unable to do any lifting and that was a big part of caring for her. Trying to manage scheduling family and care givers to be here for her 24 hours a day, seven days a week for 6 weeks plus readjust to being a new mom proved to be overwhelming and tiring. In the end, Gramma decided it was best for her to move in with my mother. On one hand I am relieved to be able to focus just on my family again but on the other I miss my Gramma and feel like I failed her.
My husband dedicated much of his time this month to a good cause--the Spark of Love Toy Drive. This is always challenging but reached new levels this year. I needed him to help out with the baby (which he did) but he had all the underprivileged children of Riverside needing him to put his full attention to the toy drive so that they could have a merrier Christmas. His obligations to the drive added to the scheduling challenges but we managed to deal with them and as a result 7,000 plus kids had a better holiday.
Sadly, we ended the year with some unfortunate news of the very tragic passing of several family and friends. It was a terrible way to end the year but served as a reminder for us as we entered the new year that life is precious and fleeting. So as we enter 2012 we need to remember to cherish the moments instead of just "get through" them. That is something this family will be doing more of in the coming year.
I was still working at my middle school when the 2011 rolled into town. We were both employed full time and had a house full of beautiful children. Life was good.
In February, we started the year by putting our house on the market. We thought this process would be lengthy but much to our surprise it ended up short. Like one week short. Within the week of listing, we had not one but two full price cash offers and were on our way to being homeless. We were thrilled and then panicked all in the same breath. We kicked into high gear, began the escrow process, packing and looking for new digs which turned out to be tougher than we thought. Oh yeah and our oldest celebrated a milestone birthday by turning 13 and officially becoming a teenager.
My assignment ended in March which worked out quite nicely since March was equally as busy since we were knee deep in the house hunt and planning our first real family vacation--a trip to Maui in April. I'm sure more happened but it is all a little fuzzy.
April brought several events to note on this timeline. We found out we were pregnant again which was an amazing blessing but made moving a bit tough since my husband wouldn't let me lift anything! That didn't stop us from officially moving to our new house on the first. Moving is tough in and of itself but it's even tougher when you are only in your house for less than a week when you need to start packing for your family vacation. We departed our new digs for Maui just one week after moving in. Maui was heaven... except for the plane ride there and back since the little guy didn't want to leave Daddy's arms the whole time. Two days after arriving home, we hosted 20 people for Easter dinner and a small celebration to mark yet another milestone birthday--our youngest turned one! Whew, I'm tired just thinking about it and we're only four months into the year!
Thankfully, the summer was much less hectic. Our middle boy celebrated his first double digit birthday--yet another milestone! My Gramma decided to move in with us so we could help take care of her which was a big adjustment for all of us. We enjoyed a rockin' block party on the Fourth of July with our new neighbors and enjoyed some much needed family time.
In the fall, the school year resumed which meant back to school for both the kids and I. Our taxi cab days resumed with driving the kids to and from all the places they needed to be and we longed for the lazy days of summer. In October and through most of November, we began what seemed like a never ending list of preparations for both the birth of our son and the Christmas holiday which was right after his birth. There was LOTS of shopping during that time as well as several trips to the hospital for both Gramma and I. In late November, our last little blessing made his way safely into the world and our world changed again. His birth rounded out a very busy year and was the best early Christmas gift ever.
December was a month of mixed emotions. Gramma's needs changed dramatically and my ability to help her did as well. Having my son via c-section meant that I was unable to do any lifting and that was a big part of caring for her. Trying to manage scheduling family and care givers to be here for her 24 hours a day, seven days a week for 6 weeks plus readjust to being a new mom proved to be overwhelming and tiring. In the end, Gramma decided it was best for her to move in with my mother. On one hand I am relieved to be able to focus just on my family again but on the other I miss my Gramma and feel like I failed her.
My husband dedicated much of his time this month to a good cause--the Spark of Love Toy Drive. This is always challenging but reached new levels this year. I needed him to help out with the baby (which he did) but he had all the underprivileged children of Riverside needing him to put his full attention to the toy drive so that they could have a merrier Christmas. His obligations to the drive added to the scheduling challenges but we managed to deal with them and as a result 7,000 plus kids had a better holiday.
Sadly, we ended the year with some unfortunate news of the very tragic passing of several family and friends. It was a terrible way to end the year but served as a reminder for us as we entered the new year that life is precious and fleeting. So as we enter 2012 we need to remember to cherish the moments instead of just "get through" them. That is something this family will be doing more of in the coming year.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Easy Come But Not So Easy Go
People are a trip. And I'm not sure I like it anymore.
I used to not pay much attention to the ebb and flow of my relationships because I took for granted that they would always be around. However, in the past few years, I've really noticed how my relationships with people have changed and how people I once felt close to I now am losing respect for which saddens me. Maybe it's the preggo hormones that are making me more sensitive or maybe it's just that I'm tired of people thinking it's okay to treat others poorly, like they are disposable.
I understand that not all relationships come in to your life for life but I guess that I've been fortunate that most of the people whom I would call "good friends" have been friends for 15 years or more. Considering my age, that's something for which I am very proud. I might not see or talk with those people every day as we once did but that's the beauty of good friends... you pick up where you left off. Good friends take you on your good days AND your bad days.
A few years ago I met a person that I thought would become a life long friend. We became close quickly. We had a lot in common and our families traveled the same circles. We enjoyed hanging out together and were planning outings frequently. However, there was a noticeable difference, a turning point if you will, in our friendship after one bad evening on my part. While the details to the night aren't as important as the fact that, in a moment of frustration, I was critical of a particular situation involving this friend. Honestly, I shouldn't have mentioned it but I was frustrated and felt it was appropriate to say. However, I would have let go after getting it off my chest but it seemed that I passed a point of no return and it was the cause for the change. I have no confirmation of this unfortunately because this friend slowly began to ignore me instead of confront the issue and deal with it like I would expect a good friend to do. I don't know why I was surprised because I have watched it happen with this person's other friends but somehow I was shocked. I watched as my invites were turned away for one reason or another and then discovered I was blown off for the new flavor of the month, the new"BFF." Then I watched as invites to events we would have otherwise been at the top of the guest list for suddenly were only extended to our mutual friends. It hurt more than I thought it would and I often debated calling her out on it but felt that it would put undue stress on some mutual parties which I didn't feel was fair so I ignored it which proved to be challenging since we are both regulars on Facebook.
I've watched similar situations unfold with friends and family members. It troubles me each time I see it. It is understood that relationships evolve and that not everyone is here to stay. Sometimes friendships aren't healthy or you are in them for the wrong reasons and you have to cut ties. My head understands that but then own up to that. Speak your peace and lay your cards on the table so there is no question of why things happened. It's the right thing to do even if it's hard to do because you might hurt someone's feelings. To be honest and not be a hypocrite, there are a few friendships that I have "cut loose" where I haven't explained to the other party my reasons for it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings even though they hurt mine--repeatedly in some cases. I'm working on speaking up and dealing with things when they happen to avoid this in the future but am hopefully that I won't have to do it too many more times because it is difficult every time.
While this particular friendship has troubled me for some time I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that, unless this friend wants to address it, nothing will change and I need to let it go. I can't change people. I can only change how I deal with them. Tough to say but it's true. Letting go is probably one of the hardest things for me to do especially when there is a lack of closure. I've struggled with it since I was young. I can remember losing a "best friend" to another girl in 6th grade and how much it affected me. I always need to know why. Over sensitive? Maybe. But in my book a good friend is like family and family is the most important thing.
I used to not pay much attention to the ebb and flow of my relationships because I took for granted that they would always be around. However, in the past few years, I've really noticed how my relationships with people have changed and how people I once felt close to I now am losing respect for which saddens me. Maybe it's the preggo hormones that are making me more sensitive or maybe it's just that I'm tired of people thinking it's okay to treat others poorly, like they are disposable.
I understand that not all relationships come in to your life for life but I guess that I've been fortunate that most of the people whom I would call "good friends" have been friends for 15 years or more. Considering my age, that's something for which I am very proud. I might not see or talk with those people every day as we once did but that's the beauty of good friends... you pick up where you left off. Good friends take you on your good days AND your bad days.
A few years ago I met a person that I thought would become a life long friend. We became close quickly. We had a lot in common and our families traveled the same circles. We enjoyed hanging out together and were planning outings frequently. However, there was a noticeable difference, a turning point if you will, in our friendship after one bad evening on my part. While the details to the night aren't as important as the fact that, in a moment of frustration, I was critical of a particular situation involving this friend. Honestly, I shouldn't have mentioned it but I was frustrated and felt it was appropriate to say. However, I would have let go after getting it off my chest but it seemed that I passed a point of no return and it was the cause for the change. I have no confirmation of this unfortunately because this friend slowly began to ignore me instead of confront the issue and deal with it like I would expect a good friend to do. I don't know why I was surprised because I have watched it happen with this person's other friends but somehow I was shocked. I watched as my invites were turned away for one reason or another and then discovered I was blown off for the new flavor of the month, the new"BFF." Then I watched as invites to events we would have otherwise been at the top of the guest list for suddenly were only extended to our mutual friends. It hurt more than I thought it would and I often debated calling her out on it but felt that it would put undue stress on some mutual parties which I didn't feel was fair so I ignored it which proved to be challenging since we are both regulars on Facebook.
I've watched similar situations unfold with friends and family members. It troubles me each time I see it. It is understood that relationships evolve and that not everyone is here to stay. Sometimes friendships aren't healthy or you are in them for the wrong reasons and you have to cut ties. My head understands that but then own up to that. Speak your peace and lay your cards on the table so there is no question of why things happened. It's the right thing to do even if it's hard to do because you might hurt someone's feelings. To be honest and not be a hypocrite, there are a few friendships that I have "cut loose" where I haven't explained to the other party my reasons for it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings even though they hurt mine--repeatedly in some cases. I'm working on speaking up and dealing with things when they happen to avoid this in the future but am hopefully that I won't have to do it too many more times because it is difficult every time.
While this particular friendship has troubled me for some time I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that, unless this friend wants to address it, nothing will change and I need to let it go. I can't change people. I can only change how I deal with them. Tough to say but it's true. Letting go is probably one of the hardest things for me to do especially when there is a lack of closure. I've struggled with it since I was young. I can remember losing a "best friend" to another girl in 6th grade and how much it affected me. I always need to know why. Over sensitive? Maybe. But in my book a good friend is like family and family is the most important thing.
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