9/11/01: Ten Years Later

Ten years ago today I was just outside Camp Pendleton in my Oceanside apartment awaiting news on when I could pick up my then-boyfriend from his float overseas. It had been months and I was excited to see him. I was picking out the perfect outfit for his return when my phone rang. I jumped with anticipation but soon realized it wasn't the call I was expecting to get. I know that I wasn't the only one who received a call they weren't expecting to get that day as soon as my friend Lou told me a plane flown by terrorists hit the World Trade Center and it was collapsing. I was stunned when my all my TV would show me were these horrific images. I simply couldn't believe my eyes. I cried like I have never cried before. 

I still cry. I'll cry every time I see it. It is a memory I could never erase even if I tried. The heartbreaking stories are seared into my mind. It's probably the reason why I have avoided the news this week. Now, ten years later, I'm married to a fireman and have children. It is as real today as it was ten years ago but it hits home more deeply than ever and I think my heart breaks more now. I can't bear to think of those poor babies who were robbed the opportunity to know their daddies--it just tears me up inside and scares me due to my husband's line of work. I can't bear to think of those firemen running up those stairs trying to save whomever they could when I'm sure they wanted to run out of there just as bad. We joke about how firemen sit around the station all day, cooking and playing cards but when the bell rings it's a whole different story--ask the friends and families of the 343 NY firemen who died.  I can't bear to think of the 2,977 people who died and what their families had to go through. I can't bear to think of those who are STILL fighting for our freedom both on the home front and overseas. It brings me to tears just thinking about it.

So, well, I will not be watching a full day of coverage today I will be doing what those people will never get the chance to do ... hugging my kids, spending time with my family, feeling my unborn son move and thanking God that I'm here to do that. I'll also be thanking him for the police, fire, EMTs, and military service men and women who give unselfishly their time and lives to protect us--truly no greater sacrifice could be made.  

And I promise that I will NEVER forget.