Monday, September 19, 2011
Heaven on Earth
As I have shared, my son J. has hit the tantrum stage. It's been a very trying couple of weeks as we are learning to deal with this new behavior and I often wonder if we'll make it through. Today I know we will because this morning I was greeted by a familiar little boy. This little boy happily greeted me this morning when I came into his room. He grabbed his truck and blankie and lifted his arms to me waiting for his ride down stairs. He smiled and babbled all the way to the kitchen and while I grabbed his morning milk. Then, he snuggled on my lap for a half an hour! <3 It was heaven on Earth. To feel his warm body nestled into mine, smell the shampoo from last night's bath and listen to the joyful "truck" noises he was making up and down my arms was the best way to be spend the morning. I'm hoping for a repeat now that he's awake from his nap. Here's hoping for another few minutes in heaven.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Hello, My Name is No
When your first child is born you just can't wait for them to hit all those milestones... smile, sit up, babble, laugh, walk, etc. You are so giddy over your little miracle that the reality of what accompanies those milestones seems to escape you. I can say this ... you can run but you can't hide. No matter where you go it will find you. The tantrum, that is.
We've entered a new stage with the bambino. For awhile now, I've been in denial. I was hoping, dreaming, saying a hail Mary really, that it was just teething angst or another ear infection but alas I am sure now that I'm wrong. I'm sure because J. was just given the all clear on the nagging ear infection and, while he has been teething since the day he was born, his discomfort has never manifested itself quite this way. You know... with kicking, screaming, throwing, hitting and pinching. Ah, yes, it seems the terrible twos are just lurking around the corner ready to sucker punch us into submission. I knew it was coming but can say that I'm really not prepared for this.
I've read my fair share of parenting books and articles. I understand that greeting your enraged child with a sea of calm, explaining and then ignoring their bad behavior is the way to go. Maybe even a time out but let me tell you that more often than not I'm finding myself gradually growing into a category 4 hurricane--totally annoyed and read to rain down with a punishment and am the one who is really in need of the time out. My reaction only frustrates me more because, logically, I know that he's only 16 months old and he doesn't know any better yet so my reaction is quite stupid. All I can say is that it's an emotional reaction not a logical one and I'm blaming it on the baby. The one that's still in the womb. He's hijacked my immune system and is sucking up my energy like a Capri Sun which leaves me feeling like I'm running on empty at a time when it's best to be fueled for the long haul. Disciplining a headstrong toddler is an all day, every day event that requires mental and physical preparation much like training for a marathon. While I could use the preparation I just can't seem to muster the patience to tolerate it. I mean, let's be real, who feels like training when you feel like the Mrs. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man--huge and about to combust due to the wicked heat/humidity? Um, short answer, not me!
But I have to--for the sake of my little J. and his unborn brother. I do not want to be that mom. I need to tackle this stage like I would anything else--armed with information, a lot of rest and a good hiding spot. My hope is that I can survive the next few months and regain enough energy to deal with the year that follows. I know this is a stage and it, too, shall pass. I just prefer it to pass while I am still relatively sane, before J. thinks his name is "No!" and I've gone mad at the sound of hearing my own voice on repeat.
P.S. If anyone has good reading materials on taming the toddler, I'd love to hear your recommendations.
We've entered a new stage with the bambino. For awhile now, I've been in denial. I was hoping, dreaming, saying a hail Mary really, that it was just teething angst or another ear infection but alas I am sure now that I'm wrong. I'm sure because J. was just given the all clear on the nagging ear infection and, while he has been teething since the day he was born, his discomfort has never manifested itself quite this way. You know... with kicking, screaming, throwing, hitting and pinching. Ah, yes, it seems the terrible twos are just lurking around the corner ready to sucker punch us into submission. I knew it was coming but can say that I'm really not prepared for this.
I've read my fair share of parenting books and articles. I understand that greeting your enraged child with a sea of calm, explaining and then ignoring their bad behavior is the way to go. Maybe even a time out but let me tell you that more often than not I'm finding myself gradually growing into a category 4 hurricane--totally annoyed and read to rain down with a punishment and am the one who is really in need of the time out. My reaction only frustrates me more because, logically, I know that he's only 16 months old and he doesn't know any better yet so my reaction is quite stupid. All I can say is that it's an emotional reaction not a logical one and I'm blaming it on the baby. The one that's still in the womb. He's hijacked my immune system and is sucking up my energy like a Capri Sun which leaves me feeling like I'm running on empty at a time when it's best to be fueled for the long haul. Disciplining a headstrong toddler is an all day, every day event that requires mental and physical preparation much like training for a marathon. While I could use the preparation I just can't seem to muster the patience to tolerate it. I mean, let's be real, who feels like training when you feel like the Mrs. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man--huge and about to combust due to the wicked heat/humidity? Um, short answer, not me!
But I have to--for the sake of my little J. and his unborn brother. I do not want to be that mom. I need to tackle this stage like I would anything else--armed with information, a lot of rest and a good hiding spot. My hope is that I can survive the next few months and regain enough energy to deal with the year that follows. I know this is a stage and it, too, shall pass. I just prefer it to pass while I am still relatively sane, before J. thinks his name is "No!" and I've gone mad at the sound of hearing my own voice on repeat.
P.S. If anyone has good reading materials on taming the toddler, I'd love to hear your recommendations.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9/11/01: Ten Years Later
Ten years ago today I was just outside Camp Pendleton in my Oceanside apartment awaiting news on when I could pick up my then-boyfriend from his float overseas. It had been months and I was excited to see him. I was picking out the perfect outfit for his return when my phone rang. I jumped with anticipation but soon realized it wasn't the call I was expecting to get. I know that I wasn't the only one who received a call they weren't expecting to get that day as soon as my friend Lou told me a plane flown by terrorists hit the World Trade Center and it was collapsing. I was stunned when my all my TV would show me were these horrific images. I simply couldn't believe my eyes. I cried like I have never cried before.
I still cry. I'll cry every time I see it. It is a memory I could never erase even if I tried. The heartbreaking stories are seared into my mind. It's probably the reason why I have avoided the news this week. Now, ten years later, I'm married to a fireman and have children. It is as real today as it was ten years ago but it hits home more deeply than ever and I think my heart breaks more now. I can't bear to think of those poor babies who were robbed the opportunity to know their daddies--it just tears me up inside and scares me due to my husband's line of work. I can't bear to think of those firemen running up those stairs trying to save whomever they could when I'm sure they wanted to run out of there just as bad. We joke about how firemen sit around the station all day, cooking and playing cards but when the bell rings it's a whole different story--ask the friends and families of the 343 NY firemen who died. I can't bear to think of the 2,977 people who died and what their families had to go through. I can't bear to think of those who are STILL fighting for our freedom both on the home front and overseas. It brings me to tears just thinking about it.
So, well, I will not be watching a full day of coverage today I will be doing what those people will never get the chance to do ... hugging my kids, spending time with my family, feeling my unborn son move and thanking God that I'm here to do that. I'll also be thanking him for the police, fire, EMTs, and military service men and women who give unselfishly their time and lives to protect us--truly no greater sacrifice could be made.
And I promise that I will NEVER forget.
I still cry. I'll cry every time I see it. It is a memory I could never erase even if I tried. The heartbreaking stories are seared into my mind. It's probably the reason why I have avoided the news this week. Now, ten years later, I'm married to a fireman and have children. It is as real today as it was ten years ago but it hits home more deeply than ever and I think my heart breaks more now. I can't bear to think of those poor babies who were robbed the opportunity to know their daddies--it just tears me up inside and scares me due to my husband's line of work. I can't bear to think of those firemen running up those stairs trying to save whomever they could when I'm sure they wanted to run out of there just as bad. We joke about how firemen sit around the station all day, cooking and playing cards but when the bell rings it's a whole different story--ask the friends and families of the 343 NY firemen who died. I can't bear to think of the 2,977 people who died and what their families had to go through. I can't bear to think of those who are STILL fighting for our freedom both on the home front and overseas. It brings me to tears just thinking about it.
So, well, I will not be watching a full day of coverage today I will be doing what those people will never get the chance to do ... hugging my kids, spending time with my family, feeling my unborn son move and thanking God that I'm here to do that. I'll also be thanking him for the police, fire, EMTs, and military service men and women who give unselfishly their time and lives to protect us--truly no greater sacrifice could be made.
And I promise that I will NEVER forget.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
10 Things I Love About My Dorky Husband
This is for you babe.
Since I've started blogging my hubs seems to be under the impression that all I do is complain about him online to people around the world. Obviously, he's not a reader or he'd know the truth but I won't hold that against him. But as I teased him about his obvious misconception of what I'm doing here I thought that maybe he deserved a blog. Just for him. Just about him.
After having been "off the market" for four years and suddenly back in dating world that seemed so incredibly foreign to me, I was sceptical that I would ever meet someone that was "perfect" for me. I had been through a tough cross country break up and a series of poorly matched clingy pseudo relationships that had soured my view on dating. Meeting the right guy felt impossible. I wasn't a bar hopper anymore and the options of men at work were at the time, dismal, to say the least. So I ventured into the world of online dating which I found to be much like being a contestant on that old game show "Press Your Luck." As I pulled up my matches I was secretly hoping for "no whammies." When I came across C.'s Match.com profile, he was cute but not in a boyish sorta way. He looked like he could handle himself and was confident so I decided to check his credentials. He was divorced (twice, I would learn later) with kids. Double whammy. (Or triple if you count the second divorce.) Damn! Only one whammy away from disqualification.
I will admit that I don't know what came over me because prior to this point in my life those two items would have been immediate deal breakers but I suppose that what had been my qualifications before weren't working out so well so I guess maybe I felt that I needed to try something new--take a chance. There was something about him and he was awfully cute. Maybe it was that he liked baseball which is something I've always enjoyed but never seemed to share with previous beaus. So I send a flirty email saying that as long as he doesn't like the Yankees we are good. WHAMMY NUMBER FOUR! He's a life long Yankee fan. This should have been grounds for disqualification BUT I continued to press my luck, as they say. And it's a good thing I did because come to find out--the guy whom I thought would be my worst possible match ended up being a perfect fit.
He's the love of my life. He's everything and everybody to me. He wears so many hats that he's taken on new pet identities for all of them that he only shares with me. So, for my hubs, here are 10 reasons why I love you. They are not the only reasons I love you but some of my favorites.
10. You not only watch chick flicks with me but you actually enjoy them and have been known to call me on the phone to tell me when your favorite ("How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days") is on so we can watch it together.
9. You sing wildly off key and with the wrong words to any eighties tune you hear on the radio.
8. You think you are going to get toned out at home and therefor must leave the van door open so you can get to your call on time. :-)
7. You still try to woo me even after six and half years of being together.
6. You cook and clean! (God love you for this one!)
5. You love baseball as much as me. Go Braves! ;-)
4. You are always my rock--so calm when there's an emergency or when I'm scared.
3. Your family is always priority number one and despite how tough it can be sometimes you do what good men do--fight the good fight regardless of how tired or scarred your heart might be.
2. You are an amazing father--truly the best I have ever known. Our kids are lucky to have you.
1. You have given me everything I could ever want--you and our kids!
I love you more than I could ever express and thank God for you daily. I look forward to a long, happy marriage with you watching our babies grow and our hair grey... ok, well my hair grey. :-)
Now, you can say that I've blogged about you. Are you happy? :-)
Since I've started blogging my hubs seems to be under the impression that all I do is complain about him online to people around the world. Obviously, he's not a reader or he'd know the truth but I won't hold that against him. But as I teased him about his obvious misconception of what I'm doing here I thought that maybe he deserved a blog. Just for him. Just about him.
After having been "off the market" for four years and suddenly back in dating world that seemed so incredibly foreign to me, I was sceptical that I would ever meet someone that was "perfect" for me. I had been through a tough cross country break up and a series of poorly matched clingy pseudo relationships that had soured my view on dating. Meeting the right guy felt impossible. I wasn't a bar hopper anymore and the options of men at work were at the time, dismal, to say the least. So I ventured into the world of online dating which I found to be much like being a contestant on that old game show "Press Your Luck." As I pulled up my matches I was secretly hoping for "no whammies." When I came across C.'s Match.com profile, he was cute but not in a boyish sorta way. He looked like he could handle himself and was confident so I decided to check his credentials. He was divorced (twice, I would learn later) with kids. Double whammy. (Or triple if you count the second divorce.) Damn! Only one whammy away from disqualification.
I will admit that I don't know what came over me because prior to this point in my life those two items would have been immediate deal breakers but I suppose that what had been my qualifications before weren't working out so well so I guess maybe I felt that I needed to try something new--take a chance. There was something about him and he was awfully cute. Maybe it was that he liked baseball which is something I've always enjoyed but never seemed to share with previous beaus. So I send a flirty email saying that as long as he doesn't like the Yankees we are good. WHAMMY NUMBER FOUR! He's a life long Yankee fan. This should have been grounds for disqualification BUT I continued to press my luck, as they say. And it's a good thing I did because come to find out--the guy whom I thought would be my worst possible match ended up being a perfect fit.
He's the love of my life. He's everything and everybody to me. He wears so many hats that he's taken on new pet identities for all of them that he only shares with me. So, for my hubs, here are 10 reasons why I love you. They are not the only reasons I love you but some of my favorites.
10. You not only watch chick flicks with me but you actually enjoy them and have been known to call me on the phone to tell me when your favorite ("How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days") is on so we can watch it together.
9. You sing wildly off key and with the wrong words to any eighties tune you hear on the radio.
8. You think you are going to get toned out at home and therefor must leave the van door open so you can get to your call on time. :-)
7. You still try to woo me even after six and half years of being together.
6. You cook and clean! (God love you for this one!)
5. You love baseball as much as me. Go Braves! ;-)
4. You are always my rock--so calm when there's an emergency or when I'm scared.
3. Your family is always priority number one and despite how tough it can be sometimes you do what good men do--fight the good fight regardless of how tired or scarred your heart might be.
2. You are an amazing father--truly the best I have ever known. Our kids are lucky to have you.
1. You have given me everything I could ever want--you and our kids!
I love you more than I could ever express and thank God for you daily. I look forward to a long, happy marriage with you watching our babies grow and our hair grey... ok, well my hair grey. :-)
Now, you can say that I've blogged about you. Are you happy? :-)
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